Deceived wife needs expert advice!?

Long story short - couple lives idyllically in a beautiful home and have three kids in private school. Husband works from home in the stock market, and Wife is a deeply happy stay-at-home mom. Until...

Husband is spending more time tinkering in the garage, and Wife discovers he's hiding bottles of alcohol. She wants to reduce pressure and have him return to corporate life, but he denies there's a problem. Months later, Wife discovers he's been hitting the left-over Vicodin and is becoming volitile. After she intercepts a collection call, she discovers he's been lying about their income and debt. Husband has used up all the equity and savings.

Her earning power is about $40,000 a year. Their self-insurance is about to be terminated because of the expense. Husband needs psychological help. How can she finance the psychological attention he needs? What type of professional can help her straighten the finances? She doesn't want to divorce.

Have him put into a detox program. No negotiation...no mercy.

Things like this can happen anywhere, to anyone, regardless of income or social staus. He needs your strength and patience to make it through this without snapping.

He can be put on a drug called antabuse (sp?). It will make him violently ill if he takes a single sip of alcohol while taking it.

Getting off the booze will be easier by a long shot than the opiates though. He will need a professional to taper him off and monitor his progress through blood tests.

Most private insurance companies will offer psych services at a higher copay so call them and ask.

Everyone will have to live lean for a while, but he's part of the family and you all will have to be there to support him, be understanding and make sacrifices.

Keep in mind though that the only way this will work is if HE truly wants to stop this behavior. If he doesn't want to end it, there's nothing anyone can do.

You could always have him Baker Acted and put into an inpatient facility but the laws are touchy when it comes to carrying this out and you would have to tell them he was posing a real, physical threat of harm to himself or his family when he engages in this recreating of sorts.

Kudos to you for having the love it takes to want to stay with him. I would have kicked him to the curb.

You're (or whoever this wife is) a good woman with a strong sense of duty and family. I hope things work out.

Contact the office of your senator. They have people who specialize in health care options and medicare/medicaid and can give you advice.

i commend you for sticking by him in his hour of need. i wish i could help but all i can say is maybe take him to a church and talk to the preacher and see that can help.

My aunt is in a similar situation and it has been ongoing for about 5 years. To make the long story short, you do need to get out, not only for you, but for your kids. My uncle became extremely abusive towards my aunt, after she found out he becgan drinking again, and spending their life savings on his new girlfriend. My aunt now works 2 jobs trying to rebuild their marriage and life. However, I can say it will never return to normal. Unless your husband is willing to say "yes, I have a problem and need help" it won't get much better. I'm so sorry b/c I know you don't want to hear that, but I've witnessed it enough in my own family, and it is heartbreaking. I would suggest divorce, and who knows, maybe that will straighten him out and then you can always remarry. Until you do something drastic, and I don't mean hide the liquor bottles, he isn't going to stop, b/c he doesnt think he has a problem. And if he's becoming volitile, you need to get out before it becomes physical.