Why is male listed first on loans to married couple and nothing explained to female re 1st being primary?

Ex and attorney (we used 1 atty) told me court would not issue a quit claim deed anymore.Specifically asked for one as part of divorce. Ex refuses to give me one. Having untold problems with mortgage and equity accounts.
> a.. Cannot get billings sent me even though mtge pay is automatically deducted from my checking account.
> b.. Equity account awarded to me in divorce but ex has stopped funds and cannot finish remodeling he started and left unfinished.
> c.. Mail re interest paid on both mortgage and equity accounts sent to ex and interest paid is credited to
his tax ID number. He will not sign for this to be changed.
> d.. Cannot get insurance on the house changed. If claim made ex gets half. I pay insurance.
House mine since 1981, married only 4 yrs. Loan holders say he is primary, but I had largest income. He made out apps for loans. I knew nothing of "primary" stuff!

Unfortunately in the - very advanced - society we currently live in, the computers do not have a field for joint applications and/or accounts.

They - institutions and the like - say yes it is joint, but the fact is whoever is listed first, is who the account/property, etc is listed under.

One (the institution etc.) has to look further into the matter (via computer screen) to see the joint names.

But it is the individual that appears first on the account that USUALLY has ALL the control.

Having said that, when you contact the customer service departments, speak to a supervisor, if the rep. is not responsive. YOU ARE listed on the account and have the right to the information. So a)You should get billings - even if they are copies, and c)You are entitled to mortgage interest information - if you know the amount - then you are legally (understand I am NOT an attorney/accountant) entitled you use at least 50% - if not more. It depends on what percentage of mortgage /home equity you pay - even if you do pay ALL, ex may argue he used his funds to pay your 'whatever' bills.

b)Equity account awarded to you - again speak to supervisor and/or their legal people. Explain you have judgment in your favor-they SHOULD- give you the access you need to the equity.

d) If the house is in your name, then the house is yours and the loan is 'joint' Insurance claims as I understand (I'm not an insurance agent)are paid out to the lien holder's favor (mortgage company) who would then release it to proper party - like the people that reconstructed whatever broke - so do not pay out of pocket - let insurance company pay.

None of the above is easy, or a great way to do things. it will take time, and probably longer than you would like. Document EVERYTHING, who you talk to and when, check your credit report regularly (I have a link to free report on my website) and do what you can to move on.

You may decide it prudent to get a second opinion from an another attorney, it may be expensive, but may be worth it, IF it allows you to get on with your life.

Good Luck!