i am trying to write an excellent cover letter for big4 accounting firms and investment bank, but my English and grammar is not too good and I think I am too wordy .
I have already checked from Ms Word.
Some of the words I used or described may be absence of strong words, you can re-phrase the sentences or use the right wording or cut it short and specific.
THANK YOU !! To Whom It May Concern/ Human Resource Manager,
I am writing in regards to my interest in the finance position with JPMorgan. Throughout my job search and conversation with JPMorgan鈥檚 executive Director Jonathan Davies I have come to respect the professionalism that characterizes your company and its employees. I am confident that JPMorgan team鈥檚 values and objectives would highly complement my own strengths and enthusiasm.
I recently graduated with a bachelors degree in Business Accounting and will be receiving my BBA this April from Swinburne University located in Melbourne Australia. I would be grateful to begin employment from 17th May. I have also completed an Advanced Diploma of Accounting and a Diploma of Business Administration. I have obtained over six years experience in the accounting, finance, telecommunication, customer service, hospitality and government industry. In the past two years I was employed as an Accounts Assistant, Here's a revised version:
To Whom It May Concern/ Human Resource Manager:
I am writing in regards to my interest in the finance position with JPMorgan. Throughout my job search and conversation with JPMorgan鈥檚 executive Director, Jonathan Davies, I have come to respect the professionalism that characterizes your company and its employees. I am confident that JPMorgan team鈥檚 values and objectives will highly complement my own strengths and enthusiasm.
I recently graduated with a bachelors degree in Business Accounting and will be receiving my BBA this April from Swinburne University located in Melbourne, Australia. I would be grateful to begin employment from 17th May. I have also completed an Advanced Diploma of Accounting and a Diploma of Business Administration. I have obtained over six years experience in the accounting, finance, telecommunication, customer service, hospitality and government industry. In the past two years, I was employed as an Accounts Assistant, International payment banking officer for ANZ banking, a telemarketer and an administrative assistant. I am confident that my combination of practical work experience and solid educational experience has prepared me for making an immediate long-term contribution to JPMorgan.
My full-time employment experiences, in particular with ANZ banking, were rewarding. The pressure of learning while working was often tiring and stressful, but staying organized and managing my time studying I was able to stay on track and complete other jobs. I have been constantly enthralled at learning new financial concepts and procedures from work while, at the same time, studying. This is evidence that I have a responsible personality and am willing to work overtime and under pressure. I understand the level of professionalism and communication required for long-term success in the field. My background and professional approach to business will provide your office with a highly productive member upon completion of your Development Program. My strengths lie in a teamwork environment and will play a proactive role for your team to which my previous employers will attest.
I look forward to exchanging ideas with you concerning a career at JPMorgan, and the positive contributions I would offer as a member of your organization. Attached to this letter, you will find my resume outlining my attributes and employment history.
Yours sincerely, You fool you forgot your name ........ You have written an extremely good letter, very informative; however, I have been told in most recent years that long letters of introduction are not considered in good taste. A very simple and rather short letter advising them of your interest in their company together with your resume would be most suitable. Right now, what you are interested in the most is an interview. All the things in your letter you could save to sell them at an interview. Above all, I wish you the best of luck. To Whom It May Concern/ Human Resource Manager,
I am writing in regards to my interest in the finance position with JPMorgan. I have come to respect the professionalism that characterizes your company and its employees in particular through my conversation with JPMorgan鈥檚 Executive Director Jonathan Davies. I am confident that my strengths and enthusiasm would highly complement the values and objectives of the JPMorgan team.
I recently graduated with a bachelors degree in Business Accounting and will be receiving my BBA this April from Swinburne University located in Melbourne Australia. I will be available for employment beginning May 17, 2008. I have also completed an Advanced Diploma of Accounting and a Diploma of Business Administration and have over six years of experience in accounting, finance, telecommunication, customer service, hospitality and government. For the past two years I have been employed as an Accounts Assistant, International payment banking officer for ANZ banking, a telemarketer and an administrative assistant. With ANZ Banking, I developed advanced skills in multi-tasking and time management. I understand the level of professionalism and communication required for long-term success in the field. I am confident that my combination of practical work experience and solid educational experience has prepared me for making both an immediate and a long-term contribution to JPMorgan.
I look forward to exchanging ideas with you concerning a career at JPMorgan and the positive contributions I would offer as a member of your organization. Please see my attached resume.
Yours sincerely, |